If we negotiate with Toddlers, than the Toddlers win.
OK, so maybe the often repeated line was not about Toddlers. But I am discovering that it applies to their tactics as well. Take my 3 year old son:
OK, so maybe the often repeated line was not about Toddlers. But I am discovering that it applies to their tactics as well. Take my 3 year old son:
Me: “OK, Connor – time to go to bed.”
Connor: “But, Mommy, I am too upset to sleep.”
Me: “What could you possibly be upset about, you had a good day.”
Connor: “I am upset that you & Daddy are going to Vegas and leaving me here.”
Me: “Connor, where did you hear about ‘Vegas’?”
Connor: “I don’t know, but I want to go too!”
Me: “Connor, we are not going to ‘Vegas’ now go to sleep. Besides, do you even know what ‘Vegas’ is?”
Connor: “No, but I want to go!”
That pretty much in a nutshell is the reason why I have to constantly remind myself that this 3 year old person in front of me is operating on a platform without any knowledge or reason. Forget that the tiny human does not know where or what ‘Vegas’ is. Instead, let’s focus on the fact that even if he wanted to so desperately go as I heard about for the next half hour – he is well under 21 making it a “craps-shoot” anyway!
Yes, I have spent many an afternoon thinking that I am educating my son by giving logical, well-thought out answers to his pie-in-the-sky ideas. “No, Connor. You are not old enough to be a Daddy.”, “No, Connor. You and your younger brother are not Identical Twins.”, “No, Connor. I don’t happen to know the name of the girl you will marry one day.”, “No, Connor. You cannot go Trick-or-Treating today –it is July.” Only to realize half-way into the argument that he doesn’t even know what side he is arguing for, much less have any valid points to sustain the defense. Like a dog chasing its own tail I have to stop and wonder how I ended up here again.
That pretty much in a nutshell is the reason why I have to constantly remind myself that this 3 year old person in front of me is operating on a platform without any knowledge or reason. Forget that the tiny human does not know where or what ‘Vegas’ is. Instead, let’s focus on the fact that even if he wanted to so desperately go as I heard about for the next half hour – he is well under 21 making it a “craps-shoot” anyway!
Yes, I have spent many an afternoon thinking that I am educating my son by giving logical, well-thought out answers to his pie-in-the-sky ideas. “No, Connor. You are not old enough to be a Daddy.”, “No, Connor. You and your younger brother are not Identical Twins.”, “No, Connor. I don’t happen to know the name of the girl you will marry one day.”, “No, Connor. You cannot go Trick-or-Treating today –it is July.” Only to realize half-way into the argument that he doesn’t even know what side he is arguing for, much less have any valid points to sustain the defense. Like a dog chasing its own tail I have to stop and wonder how I ended up here again.
Of course sometimes a part of me enjoys the debates we get into over nothing. I can see my son’s strong-willed and confident side shine as he makes a case built on imagination alone. After all, he is only 3 and the innocence and wonder he possesses will not last forever. I look forward to more mature disagreements about politics, world issues and ethics as he gets older. I know one day I will lose an argument to him and not just give-up my position for the sake of bedtime.
But right now, I need to book 2 plane tickets for my husband’s conference in Las Vegas. I figure if I can’t negotiate with him, I might as well just flat out lie to him…
 |
| My Little Negotiator |
No comments:
Post a Comment